Countdown

11 days na at tahimik ka pa din. Anu na ba nangyari? Kamusta ka na? Parang hindi lang ako sanay na hindi ka nagpaparamdam. Sorry ha. Nanibago lang talaga ako. Medyo paranoid na din at kung anu-anu naiisip ko. Kaw kasi. Tatapusin ko lang ang countdown na toh sa oras na bumalik ka na sa dati. Pasensya na hindi ko talaga maiwasan na hindi bilangin ang araw na hindi ka parte ng buhay ko. Araw-araw kasi parati kang nandyan. Hindi lang ako sanay. Drama di ba? Nagpapakatotoo lang kesa naman kimkimin ko. Mabuti ng ganito.:(

Alam Ko Superwoman Ka!

"The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting right next to you and know you can never have them."

--Ang weird nga naman ng buhay, may mga bagay ka na gusto mo pero hindi mo makuha at may mga bagay naman na andyan lang pero ayaw mo. Ang gulo? Tulad ngayon, may isang tao na alam kong nasa tabi-tabi lang at sobrang nami-miss ko na kaso parang ang layo pa din nya kasi may mga bagay na nagbibigay distansya sa aming dalawa. Sabihin na nating unfair pero ganun talaga pag nag-risk ka. Pwedeng bumlik sayo ng maganda at pwedeng mawala nalang bigla. Sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, parang mawawala sya. Siguro desisyon din nya yun. Ang hirap nga naman na parati kayong magkasama tapos yung kasama mo may nararamdaman para sayo tapos ikaw wala. Baka naisip lang nya na mas lalong mahihirapan yung taong yun. Tingin ko nga nahihirapan na sya ngayon. Pero alam ko strong naman yung tao na yun. Magmumukmok lang yun ng isang araw at iiyak kinabukasan nun okay na sya. Resilient kaya sya. Laging bounce back from adversity. Tsaka madami pa naman syang pwedeng pagkaabalahan sa buhay aside sa nararamdaman nya, learning experience kung baga. At least natuto ulit sya mag-appreciate ng ibang tao after 6 years. Oo, anim na taon. Martir eh. Tapos nung dumating pa ang kasalukuyang tao na toh, hindi pa pala perfect ang timing. Kaya ayun, sablay na naman sya. Okay lang, darating din ang panahon makakahanap din sya ng isang ganap na taong pag-uukulan sya ng pansin at aalagaan sya. Ubusin nalang muna nya sa ngayon ang oras nya sa pamilya, trabaho, business at lalong lalo na kay GOD. Matalino at matatag kang babae at alam kong malalagpasan mo din toh. Sakit ng puso lang toh kumpara sa mabibigat na pinagdaanan mo noon. Kaya mo yan.:)

I Am Going To Help You Baby Jon

I was browsing my twitter pages when something caught my attention. It was a link posted to Saab Magalona's profile. Out of curiousity, I opened the link and read about the blog. It was coming from parents asking for help and prayers for their son named Baby Jon whose suffering from illness. I read everything that was written and it almost break my heart. I did cry. I saw pictures and videos of Baby Jon lying on his bed with a respirator from his neck. He had breathing difficulty. He was a very cute child. His parents loved him so much. I copied the link and posted it to my friend's wall in Facebook hoping that they might help Baby Jon. I promised myself I am going to help him in any way I can. I love kids so much. And it hurts me seeing a child suffering from illness or being abandoned. I just wish someone will be able to read mu link and donate even smaller amount for Baby Jon. His respirator costs more than 1 million. If posting the link so many times could save him, I'll do that. I hope others will do the same way. But of course more than anything else, let us pray for his fast recovery. GOD will guide and protect him. I'll be posting once more the link. Let us help him guys to enjoy his life. He is GOD's blessing to everyone. Thanks:)

http://bit.ly/93lin2..

http://breathehopejon.blogspot.com/

Silence Means Something

Unusual. I really don't know how to define it. The feeling sucks. It has been eight days of silence. And it makes me freak out! What happened? I thought everything will still be the same but the way things are going on now I can say, You must have changed and it's breaking me into pieces. Knowing you're always there for me but in just a snap I felt like I am beginning to lose the most important person of my life now. I guess, it is indeed my fault. Even you don't say it I knew there's this sort of a gap being created. It is like I am not that much prepare for it. I cannot blame you. You are innocent after all. It is my heart that choose you. The feeling is natural. I am just human and I cannot resist the fact that I do fall in love. Maybe at the wrong time. But how will I know if when will be the perfect time if I didn't try? If I did not do that embarrassing stuff. Admit it or not, I was so happy that I was able to say it. And I mean it so much. I just really don't know why suddenly you were like cold and you're lost in nowhere. I just really can't explain. I know something in you has changed. I know it's not okay to be okay but I'll try my best. Maybe I am going to miss the times we are together joking around and sharing cool moments but I have to do this. As early as possible. I just hope you don't use silence as an escape from me for you don't have to worry cause I know we will come at this situation. I don't have anything against you. It's just that I can't afford to lose you now. Give me more time. Then I'll be done. Whatever happen, thank you for everything. In one way or another you inspired me and brought changes in my life even in short period of time. Our friendship will still last, I know. Again, thank you for showing and helping me get closer to GOD. That is one thing I'll never forget. :)

You Got Me!

I heard a song last week from the movie "Letters to Juliet" entitled "You Got Me" sang by Colbie Calliat. It was cool and very cute. The lyrics is really applicable to what I am feeling right now. I played the song so many times that I was able to memorize the lyrics. I can't get over with it. It describes what I am experiencing now. Inspired. Motivated. Happy. I can use all the positive adjective I can think of. Here it goes:

You Got Me

by Colbie Caillait

You're stuck on me

and my laughing eyes

I can't pretend though

I try to hide, I like you

I like you.

I think I felt my heart skip a beat

I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe, you got me, yeah

You got me.

The way you take my hand is just so sweet

And that crooked smile of yours

it knocks me off my feet

Oh, I just can't get enough

How much do I need to fill me up?

It feels so good it must be love

It's everything that I've been dreaming of.

I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.

Cause no matter what I do,

Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

I can't imagine what it'd be like

Livin each day in this life, without you.

Without you.

One look from you I know you understand

This mess we're in

you know is just so out of hand.

Oh, I just can't get enough

How much do I need to fill me up?

It feels so good it must be love

It's everything that I've been dreaming of.

I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.

Cause no matter what I do,

Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

I hope we always feel this way

I know we will

and in my heart I know that

you'll always stay

Oh, I just can't get enough

How much do I need I need to fill me up?

It feels so good it must be love

I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.

Cause no matter what I do

Oh, I just can't get enough

How much do I need to fill me up?

It feels so good it must be love

It's everything that I've been dreaming of.

I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.

Cause no matter what I do,

Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

Oh (oh)

You got me. You got me.

Oh (oh) You got me.

:) Love the song. Love the lyrics. Love to sing this song to that special person.:)

It is Chuck's Week Last Week:)

I had a super crazy week last week. Define craziness. It is a combination of being a brave soul, small cup of stupidity, one liter of honesty and a pail of tears. Ooops! Before I forgot add some tablespoon of confusion with one bowl of depression. All emotions at stake last week. It started Monday when I did a very courageous act. Well, an act of confession that I never thought I'll do. No regrets. That's okay. At least now I know. It is really hard when you wanna tell something but you're not sure of or rather you're afraid that it may ruin everything. Friendship for example. However, if you will not do that you'll be just like that for the rest of your life. Hoping. Wondering. Clueless. And most of all, scared. Why scared? Because you'll never know if your feeling the right thing or it is better left unsaid. Weirdo. When you're really in-love, you tend to lose the proper mind setting. You can't think wise. You can't eat properly. You can't sleep well. You can't concentrate on your work. Poor me.

Just because I was so determined to tell to that person that I liked him I guess it made the situation more predictable and light. All confusions answered. After sending that letter that confessed all my true feelings for that guy, everything is clear now. That first, we are only bound to be friends. Second, that this is not the perfect time for that feelings but he is open for the possibilites, maybe tomorrow or the days after. And third, that despite everything that I did he did not change after all. He has still been the same guy I knew. He has still been the good friend I always run to whenever I have a problem. He has still been the business partner ready to give you updates and share you some good points regarding our business world. And he has still been my church mate who has this very big faith in GOD. My realization goes like this. I was very happy with the result and also thankful that he was open-minded with the fact that I am falling for him. He never made anything that will insult and hurt my feelings. Thank you so much GOD. This is one thing that I am afraid of that after confessing my feelings he will avoid me but none of it happen and I am very much contented with that. As the new chapter unfolds, I believe that, "What you want is not always what you get. But in the end, what you get is better than what you wanted. "The Lord satisfies your desires with good things." -Psalm 103:". Thanks to you Chuck for the doses of inspiration I am feeling every single day. And to GOD, you are so good and incomparable. :)

I Love Kids! I Love Sunday!:)

It's been so long hindi ako nakapagturo sa Kids Church sa Victory kasi I have my work and most of my Sundays talaga I usually spend it sa Bulacan with my family. Kanina I'm back teaching the kids again. Sobrang na-miss ko cla. Grabe. Thanks to Teacher Jed for all the efforts and the rest of my co-teachers. Super sorry if I was absent for so long. Basta I'll make "bawi" talaga. Kanina when I saw the kids, I really can't explain the feeling. Priceless. I was thankful that most of them, still recognized me. May mga bago din akong na-meet na teachers. There were also some changes. Mas organize na ngaun wherein we were all given different tasks. I was assigned to do the worship and I sang a song about the the celebration of Father's Day. Ayun sintunado pero okay lang. Medyo kabado ulit kasi matagal kong hindi nagawa.

Ang daming kids kanina. Napuno ang buong room. Nakita ko si Tiffany and she hugged me tightly when she saw me. Isa sa mga batang na-miss ko. Ang fashionista ng batang toh, daig pa ko. Si Joshua na medyo tumaba. Ang tambok ng cheeks nya pero syempre cute pa din. Good thing super behave na sya ngaun. Si Aia, ang mestisang bata na mahilig lumabas ng room para hanapin yung Mom nya got a new hair. Nakakaawa nga kasi maysakit sya kanina pero still she tried her best to participate with the activities. Si Meagan as usual panay kwento pa din sa alaga nyang rabbit. Si Jey-Ann keeps on crying kanina cause she's looking for her Mom. Naawa nga ako eh. Si Emmanuel, still the "bibo" kid. Game sya parati. Naiinggit din ako sa hair ni Miguel, the "Vaseline Boy". Ang cool ng hair nya talaga. Wow!:) The Sena Brothers. Before ang kulit talaga at ang gulo nila pero kanina they were well-disciplined and tahimik. Hmmm...Pia still have her curly hair! Aaron is so charming din kanina, lovely outfit talaga. Ocean Long, the American kid na super bait and lovely. Ang astig nga ng name nya eh. We had fun kanina. The shaving cream activity with Teacher Leo, Ramil and Michael. Ang funny ng itsura nila. Thanks guys for being sport and patient. Teacher Stine, Faith and Teacher Raquel, I really had a great time serving God and the kids kanina. Teacher Jed, your one of the most motivated person I've met. And Teacher Sol, happy birthday!:)

After the Kids Church, nakisaling-pusa ulit ako sa small group nila Glemar and Csar. I did learn alot na naman. They were all amazing. I really love their faith in God. Ang bait nila and super passionate of getting more closer to God. Two-thumbs up to all of you guys! Kain ka ng madami Glemar ha. Medyo pumayat ka. Thank you din sa mga prayers nyo kanina sa akin. I confessed to them I had a crazy week and they gave me words of inspiration and advices. Thanks. Thanks.

Niyaya ko din yung friend ko na mag-bowling. Pampatanggal ng stress. Try it out guys. Hindi ako ganun kagaling pero okay lang din. For the sake of adventure, I surely enjoyed it. Nagpicture taking din kami. Syempre hindi pwedeng mawala yun.

I love Sunday! Ang worth ng day na toh. Madami akong natutuhan. May mga bago akong nakilala. May nakita din akong tao that I haven't seen for so long na super familiar.:) Pinasaya ako ng mga kids. Nagkaroon ng bonding with my churchmates. Kumain sa Teriyaki Boy with the Boys of God. And most importantly I am learning to get closer and closer to GOD because of those people. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na may mga taong tumutulong sayo na mas lalo mong makilala si GOD. Even with the kids, natutulungan din nila ako to serve GOD. Those kids were my little angels and I love them so much. Thank you so much GOD for this wonderful today.:)

This is the Day??

Ito ang araw na sobrang taas ng confidence ko na sabihin sa taong ito na gusto ko sya. Mula pagkagising ko sa umaga hanggang ngayon nasa isip ko lang talaga kailangan masabi ko na sayo toh bago pa dumating sa point na dapuan ulit ako ng takot. Thank you GOD dahil po sa mga signs na binigay mo mas may strenght ako na gawin ito. Ang pinaka-una kong tanong, paano? Alam ko naman talaga ang sagot, nag-aalangan nga lang akong gawin. Sabihin na nating takot kasi baka may magbago. Kung may magbabago man sana for the better. Ready na ko tanggapin kung anu man ang magiging consequences nito. Basta ang alam ko gusto ko na talaga sya. Sa araw-araw na lumilipas, mahirap kontrolin ang isang pakiramdam na alam mong naging sistema na ng buhay mo. Tsaka pano mo aalisin ang isang bagay na nagpapasaya sayo tinuturuan ka kung paano ma-inspire. Isa lang naman talaga ang gumugulo sa akin. Ang sasabihin ng ibang tao. Pero bahala na talaga. Ayoko ng maulit yung dati. Nung college ako na ang tagal pero wala namang nangyari. Nasayang lang ang panahon ko. Risk. Eto ang tawag ko sa ginagawa ko ngayon. Sana nga lang magbunga. Goodluck talaga sken.

Lakers vs. Boston! Pustahan namin ni Joenel..

Since mahilig nalang din ako sa basketball dati pa hindi ako natakot makipagpustahan kay Joenel. College pa lang nakikipagpustahan na ako. Ngayon pa kaya. Sa panig ako ng Lakers at sya naman Boston. Nung una one thousand ang pusta pero naging P500 plus a movie treat. Deal. Yun ang huli naming napag-usapan. Hindi ako uurong dahil kumpyansa naman akong mananalo ang Lakers. Nakakatuwa kasi nabasa ng pinsan kong si Dave yung comment ko so bumakas pa sya ng P500. Akalain mo Lakers din pala sya. Buti nalang may kakampi ako. May isa ng panalo ang Lakers. Best of seven games toh kaya naman dapat humataw ng todo ang Lakers. Basta alam ko mananalo ako sa pustahang ito. Goodluck nalang sa amin. Go LAKERS! Joenel, boooo! Peace out!:)

Back to "Paglalatag", Bowling Mode, Hataw sa GFI at Yoo-Hoo sa Metrowalk!

Last Saturday, I've got too many plans talaga. I was worried that I may not accomplish everything kasi super dami pero good thing at the end of the day nagawa naman namin lahat. Alas-kuwatro palang ng hapon nasa Megamall na ko kasi naglatag ako sa mga guests ni Kuya Joey. Sobrang na-miss kong gawin toh. Buti nalang sanay pa ko. Talagang nasa sistema ko na ang mag-present. Nag-eenjoy talaga akong gawin to. Buti nalang on-time ako dumating. Tatlo guests ni Kuya Joey. Kabado ako nung una pero in the middlee of the conversation naging okay naman sila. Ang bait at super "kalog". Positive naman. Naramdaman ko yun ng sobra. Alam ko sooner or later magiging part sila ng GFI. Kasama ko din so Joenel. Siya yung nag-A. Grabe hindi ko maipaliwanag ang pakiramdam ng maglatag ulit ako. Naisip ko sana eto nalang gagawin ko parati kaso syempre may work na ulit ako. Tapos na yung 3 months na pagiging malaya ko at ngayon tali na naman ang oras ko. Buti nalang sa mga oras na busy ako andyan sila Joenel at Kuya Joey para alagaan ang grupo ko. Salamat sa inyo.

Pagkatapos nun, dumating ang bago kong friend na si Chardie. Katulad ng naunang plano, magbo-bowling kami. Second-time ko na pala gawin toh. Hindi talaga ako marunong mag-bowling pero syempre dahil panibagong adventure toh willing akong matuto. Nung nag-start na kami, ang saya. Nakakawala sya ng stress talaga. Enjoy. Kahit madalas puro papuntang gilid yung tira ko okay lang. Isang beses lang ako naka-strike compared kay Joenel, nakuha agad nya yung strategy. Humanda ka Joenel sa second time na mag-bowling tayo. Babawi ako. Ahahaha..For sure nag-enjoy din si Chardie. First time ko syang nakasama na gumimik. Ang funny nya. No dull moment. Ayain ko ulit sya sa susunod.

Bumisita ulit ako sa second home ko after kong mawala ng three weeks. Ang GFI. Lahat sila na-miss ko. Kulang nalang i-hug ko lahat ng makikita ko. Grabe. Nakakapanghinayang yung mga araw na nawala ako pero pangako hataw ulit. Bawi mode na ako. Tama na muna ang pahinga. Sa event namin sa Sabado, sobrang excited na ko. Sana madami sa mga bumili ng ticket ang pumunta. Kay Upline Ken, maraming salamat sa pag-intindi sa akin. At sa grupo, pasensya na sa pagkukulang ko.

Ang last stop namin sa Yoo-Hoo sa Metrowalk para i-meet yung mga bago kong teammates. Naplano na kasi na mag-babonding kami ng Saturday evening. Ini-expect ko kumpleto kami pero pagdating namin ni Chardie nun eight lang cla. Okay lang. At kamusta naman hotseat ako that night. Aminan portion. Nagulat lang ako na apat sa teammates ko may crush sa akin. Wow talaga? Ang haba ng hair ko that night. Tapos nagkaroon ako ng chance na tanungin cla kung bakit ako. Medyo hindi ko kinaya yung sagot nila. Yung isa ang sabi hindi daw nya maipaliwanag. Yung isa kasi may x-factor daw ako. Yung isa kasi ang tahimik at cool ko daw. Tahimik? Madaldal kaya ako. At eto ang pinakamalupit sabi ng isa na-exceed ko daw kasi yung expectation na hinahanap nya sa isang babae. Ang sarap pakinggan. Super overwhelming yung feeling. Thank you guys for looking at me that way. Pero naisip ko mas masarap pakinggan yun kung ang nagsasabi ay yung taong gusto mo talaga. Sana na-a-appreciate din nya ako gaya ng mga teammates ko. Sana dumating yung time na sabihin din nya sa akin yung mga un. Ang hirap nya kasing -define. Oh Chuck!

Youth Service at Prince of Persia MovieTime with Aldrin!:)

Ngayon ay Friday. Ang bonding day namin ni Aldrin kay GOD. I mean "Papa GOD" kung tawagin niya. Sobrang thankful ako kasi si Aldrin ang nagbigay ng idea sa akin regarding youth service. isa sya sa mga closest friend ko ngayon. Sinama nya ko isang beses hanggang naging consistent na yun every Friday. Parati namin napapag-uusapan na every Friday we will dedicate our time with GOD. The Victory Church located at Robinson's Galleria has became a big part of our life. Madalas kami pumunta dun ni Aldrin. Ang saya kasi they will help you get closer kay Papa GOD. Minsan nga bitin pa yung service. Nagustuhan ko pa dun yung mga kanta nila, ang ganda ng lyrics. Saka the way the pastor preach, very interesting talaga. Kanina muli na naman kami umattend ng service ni Aldrin. Katulad ng nararamdaman namin every service, sobrang fulfilling talaga. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam. You will really feel na parang nasa tabi mo lang si GOD. Enjoy nga kami kanina. Ang kulit pa ng ilang pastors dun. After nun dating gawi, kumain ulit kami ng sisig. Too bad hindi sa Sisig Hooray kasi paubos na tinda nila so sa ibang stall nalang pero syempre sisig pa din. Yun talaga madalas namin kainin pag magakasama kami. Automatic na yun. Bago kumain syempre nag-pray muna kami at sya yung nag-lead. Nanuod din kami ng movie. Unexpected yun. Nagyaya si Aldrin. Gusto daw nya panuorin yung Prince of Persia kasi matagal nya yun hinintay at napanuod pa daw nya yung the making nun. Buti nalang may 9:30pm slot pa. So bumili kami ng tickets. Naisip ko nun hindi naman siguro ako male-late kasi mga 11:30pm for sure tapos na yun. Movie-bonding naman diba? Ganun talaga kami pag nagkita. Mabait naman si Aldrin eh syempre mas mabait ako. Wag ka kokontra Aldrin. :) Ang ganda ng movie na Prince of Persia. Yung story, characters , setting and the special effects were all good. Wala kong masabi. Parehas kaming tutok sa panunuod. Hinihintay kung anu yung susunod na mangyayari. In the end, nag-enjoy talaga kami. Sulit yung bayad. Sinamahan nya ko pauwi sa sakayan ng taxi kasi mejo nag-panic na ko baka ma-late ako kasi may skill check pa kami. Ayun...super worth ng day. Ang dami kong nagawa. Kahit paano nakalimutan ko yung pressure sa bagong work. Till next Friday. Thanks Aldrin!:)

Shut My Mouth!

May mga pagkakataon talaga na super nagiging madaldal talaga ako and I tend to lose my control lalo na if the topic is very interesting. Sa bagay nature ko din naman talaga ang pagiging talkative. Minsan nga lang sobra na siguro to the point na destructing na pala. Marami nagsasabi sa akin na unang impression nila is tahimik ako. Pero kasi maingay talaga ko. Hindi naman loud sadyang may instances na I really talk a lot. I learned a lesson today to know my limitation sa pagiging madaldal. May scenario kasi kahapon na nagalit yung trainor namin because may mga teammates ako na nahuli nyang nag-iingay. And he got mad. Naintindihan ko naman sya kasi ang hirap talagang magsalita sa harap at mag-handle ng isang buong klase. Mali naman talaga yung nangyari kasi dapat pag may nagdi-discuss sa harap, kailangan you give your full attention as a respect to that person. Kanina kinausap nya ako unexpectedly. I never thought na isa pala ako sa mga tao na na-observe nya na madaldal at nag-iingay kapag nagdidiscuss sya. I don't feel embarrassed kasi alam ko in one way or another naging ganun naman talaga ko. Hindi man everyday pero ginawa ko naman talaga. I felt too much guilt about myself pero okay lang. I am thankful na sinabi nya agad yun sa akin at least I can change for the better at para hindi ko na ulit gawin yun. On the other side, I also defended myself na during the times I chit-chat with my seatmate, it is not because of nonsense reason but because nagtatanong lang ako sa mga topics na malabo or hindi ko agad naintindihan. I was wrong in the first place din kasi sa kanya dapat ako nagtatanung kasi he knew everything about the subject. Too bad I always address the concern to my seatmate. I fully admit it was my fault. Firts time ko din nga pala mapunta sa ganitong situation na kakausapin ako ng isang tao because I did a mistake. Akala ko nung una negative yung magiging effect nun sa akin pero wala kong naramdaman na ganun. That only means I am really open to changes when it comes to my attitude. No one is perfect. Everyone had their own areas of improvement and I'm glad I was able to know kung anu yung area na yun sa akin. It will somehow help me. Ang saya sa pakiramdam. Walang halong biro. I admire my trainor for doing that. Hindi naman yun kabawasan sa pagkatao ko. Ang pagiging honest kung anu ang nakikita mo sa ibang tao ay nagpapatunay lang na concern ka sa kanya. Thanks Gray! I owe you for that. Siguro nga may mga times na sobrang attentive ako sa klase kasi parati akong sumasagot or nagtataas ng kamay pero it does not necessarily mean na nagmamayabang ako. Nagkakataon lang talaga na alam ko yung sagot. May mga pagkakataon din na parang ang dami kong alam pero hindi yun pagmamalaki, marami nalang talaga akong napagdaanan sa buhay at base na din sa mga experiences ko which I want to share to everyone. Maaaring namimis-interpret ng iba pero ganun talaga. It takes one to know one. I don't really settle for first impression. Basta ang alam ko I am just being myself. Ayun. Drama mode? Happy lang kasi I know nagmamature na ko as an individual. Wow! May ganun diba?:)

Butch Daw?

Nakakatawa namang isipin na minsan may mga tao na akala nila "butch" or "tomboy" ako just because I've never been in any kind of relationship or serious commitment until now. This was not the very first time that someone joked around me regarding the same concern. Ang weird db? Pero syempre I don't mind them. Natutuwa lang ako sa kanila. Para sa akin, ang hindi pagkakaroon ng boyfriend or yung tinatawag nilang 'nbsb" or "no boyfriend since birth" ay hindi kawalan sa isang babae. Hindi ibig sabihin hanggang ngaun wala ka pang naging boyfriend eh "tomboy" ka na or "choosy" o kaya naman"pihikan". Sa part ko kasi i'ts all about choice. Hindi pa kasi sya talaga kasama sa mga priorities ko or sabihin na nating huli sya sa listahan ng mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay. Madami ang nagsasabi sa akin na i-try ko daw kasi ang sarap ng feeling na may nakakasama ka, kinikilig ka at nararamdaman mo yung tinatawag na "love". Totoo naman yun kaya lang hindi ako sang-ayon sa salitang "subukan". Ang gusto ko pag pumasok ako sa isang relasyon, seryoso sya at talagang bukal sa puso ko yung pakiramdam. Sabihin na nating may mga pagkakataon na nalulungkot at naiingit ako sa ibang tao pero madami ka pa namang bagay na pwedeng gawin para i-divert ang attention mo sa ibang bagay. Yun ang ginagawa ko ngaun na talaga namang nag-eenjoy ako. Ang taong katulad ko na "single" hanggang ngaun ay hindi nanganghulugang miserable na ko sa buhay ko. At hindi porke "single" na ako, hindi na ko marunong ma-inlove. Nararamdaman ko din yun at nararamdaman ko ito ngayon. Masaya. Nakakakilig. Nakaka-inspire. Nakakapaglagay ng ngiti sa mukha. Nakakapawi ng lungkot. Alam ko kung anu ang pakiramdam ng taong in-love. Pagdating sa love, hindi ako nagmamadali. Darating yan sa tamang panahon. Malalaman mo naman pag sya na ang taong hinihintay mo. Mararamdaman mo yung tinatatawag nilang "spark". Corny mang pakinggan pero totoo yun. Ilan sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagsabi nun sa akin. Hilaw pa man ako sa pakikipagrelasyon pero hindi yun nangangahulugan na wala na akong alam pagdating sa usapang pag-ibig. Mature na naman ako. Hanggang ngaun, tuwing naiisip ko yung sinasabi ng ibang tao sa akin na "butch" ako, napapailing lang ako. Straight po ako. Kumbaga, babaeng-babae po ako. Isandaang porsyentong babae. Hayyy. Ang kumplikadong mag-isip talaga ng ibang tao. Kung alam lang nila sobrang inspirado kaya ako ngayon dahil sa isang lalaki. Take note "sa isang lalaki". Makikilala din nila sya sa tamang oras at panahon. :)

Tulog Mantika!

What a relief! I got 9 hours of sleep today. Yehey! Super blessing kasi normally I only use to have 5 hours. Siguro the fact na hindi ganun kainit yung panahon since the rain poured down a while ago kaya ang sarap matulog. Grabe. Ayoko ng bumangon. kung wala lang akong lakad later malamang tulog pa din ako hanggang ngayon. Ang cool ng pakiramdam kasi feeling ko ang lakas ng energy ko at na-recharge ulit din ako after kong ma-stress ng ilang araw. Sana sa work later hindi ako antukin kasi sometimes may tendency ako na pag na-oversleep mas inaantok ako. Ready na kong mag-dinner, "dinuguan". Oooopppss! May naaalala ako everytime na kakain ako ng "dinuguan". Si Matteo. Hindi kasi sya kumakain nun. Isa yun sa mga challenge na ginawa namin during Dare Duo ang pilitin at saluhan ko sya na kumain nun. Napapangiti tuloy ako tuwing maaalala ko yun. Ang saya! Hindi rin ako makakapagbaon today kasi may imporatante pa kong lakad. Hindi ako makakapag-prepare. Di bale bukas nalang. :)

No Re-Take!

Thank you GOD. After series of skills check exam that I've went through last week I was so happy to know I passed the three difficult and complicated exams. I was so pressured because there were instances I really don't know where to find the answer but the fact that I tried my best means that it's worth everything. There were still four remaining skills check for the whole 7 weeks of my training and I am hoping that I can pass all those exams with flying colors. I just simply need to listen very well with each discussion and most importantly I need to take down notes especially the Doc ID' s so I will not have difficulty in looking proof for the correct answers. This exams test my capability in what I've learned during the past discussions. I'll study hard for the next skills check. I want to get the same result again. Thank you so much GOD for I will not going to have a re-take. :)

Confession

I cannot put in words how I feel about you when I see you walk by. These intense feelings will never go away until I can have you in my arms, and that you realize that there is only one woman for you and it is me. Everyday, I hope that you will come into my life and tell me how you feel because what I feel for you exists only inside my heart. You are the only man that can understand me, and you can only reach it; I give you the key, please unlock what you know can be the love you can only dream of. You are beautiful and I can't help but fall for you deeper every day. I can only hope that the day will arrive when you look deep into my eyes and you tell me what I have been waiting to hear: that you love me the same way I'm thinking of you always.