Lately, I'm pretty messed up. For a reason I can't understand. I had this weird things running through my mind that I don't normally think. Am I being a psycho? I don't know. I am really losing interest in everything I'm doing now. I feel like I changed. I don't usually dwell in this kind of stuff but now, I can't help it. Does it have to do with the decisions I made? It's haunting me. Or I am just really confuse on what I want for myself. I'll be back to work later and I don't wanna be like this when I get there. It'll surely affect my performance. I guess the real problem is I stop dreaming. I stop aiming. I just become a regular person contented with what I'm getting now and what I'm experiencing. Is this how life supposed to be? In my case, it should not. I already know the idea that I have to work hard but working is not enough. I have to get out of the box and do something. I have the freedom but it seems like I'm not using it. I feel very stagnant. And I hate it. I was not like this before. I am very optimistic and determined. Now, I'm losing the passion. I just settle with what I have now. I need to strive hard, I know I can do better than this. But my questions is, "HOW"?. I'm beginning to lose my options and my faith. Where's the girl who never run out of good ideas? Where's the girl whose always positive despite of a not-so-good situation? I am beginning to lose that side of myself. Maybe I've been dependent with other people. Maybe I get too attached. Or I am now scared. I am risk-taker, but where it it now? Today, I'm trying to realize of whom I should become. I have to settle for the best. It's not okay to be okay. I think things are falling apart because I tend to neglect GOD. I become so overconfident without knowing that I need HIM. For the days that I'm so happy, I forgot HIM. For the achievements that I received, I get too comfortable with it that I don't even thank HIM. If there is someone I wanna have a conversation with now, I want to talk to HIM. I know HE's just around guiding and watching my every step. Prayer-that's the key. I know GOD I've been overwhelmed with the things I got but I know that I'll be more happy if I also share it with you. The reason why I'm feeling hopeless now because of all the people I need to look after to, I forgot to include you. That was a big mistake and I hope you understand me. I feel like a lost sheep trying to find the right path again. And I know you'll show me the way. I've never felt this hard before. But with you by my side, I'm sure I'll surpass it. Thank you GOD for everything.
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