Two Words Six Letters

I hate the fact that I’m giving up now. It’s barely in my mind for the longest time but I guess I have to do it. So I can spend more time for myself and the on the people around me. This is not really the real version of me but sometimes you need to change, for the better. Last December 8, 2013, I realized I have to end this crazy feeling I had for someone. I don’t know how to call him. I don’t want to put his name here because hacking is very easy. Let’s put a pseudo name. Let’s call him Mr. Hug. Why such name? That would be a secret unless he read about this and figure it out. I doubt cause he don’t even know he’s doing it. I had this feeling for Mr. Hug for a long time. I am a good actress cause I knew how to act in front of him normally. I should not use the word normal cause it’s really not. I guess I just have to pretend.  I don’t know when and how I started liking him. I just felt it. And it never stops. The feelings grew stronger and stronger every single day not until today I decided to cut it. Because I can’t tolerate it anymore. Who wants to look stupid? No one. This has been a decision I made so I can focus on myself.  Lately, this feeling began to scrutinize me. So I decided to let go. One of the most difficult thing a person will do for the sake of being free again from getting hurt. It’s kinda hurt letting go but if it’s for your own good then I have to do it. Love makes the world go round but what if love also makes your world doomed, then you really have to stop. In this case, I am doing it for I want to feel free again. From crying, wallowing and the non-stop feeling of getting jealous whenever you see him with someone. I know it’s gonna be ten times hard on my part but I can do it. I know in my heart I’ll get over him. I don’t believe in the saying that there’s really one guy you can’t get over it. I know we’ll get over it not right away but slowly. It’s always gonna be a long process. But eventually it’ll end. As for now, I think I’m surviving. There may be days I find it awkward that I would like to go back on my old self liking him but there’s also part of me dictating that I have to mean what I say. That is to stop. It’s killing me but I have to find my own remedy. I guess I’m gonna be fine when my hair grows back. So what’s these two words six letters I am trying to say---move on.