How to Say Sorry by Heather Taylor (taken from HelloGiggles)

I have never been good with apologies. Whenever I say “I’m sorry,” it never sounds sincere enough. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I don’t like to argue with people or get into fights often, so the few times that it hits the fan and I’m at war with another person, it’s such a strange feeling. It’s a case of the Eeyores, in which there is a private gray cloud constantly raining on you no matter just how much you try to block the thoughts from your head and not dwell on it. And this feeling applies to everyone, be it a family member or roommate or even a friend you met on Twitter.

Usually my first instinct post-argument is to apologize and beg for forgiveness to ensure that life will pick right back up and move on just as it was before, in under a week or less. This is probably the worst possible approach in the world. It’s definitely good to say you’re sorry and all, but to expect everyone on both sides to forget what was said and done in under a week? Don’t count on it. I’m learning now more than ever that apologies don’t work like that. It’s so easy to send a flippant text message to another person in a few seconds and expect them not to get offended by it, to see it as you see it in your own head, but it takes more than just time to undo the damages caused afterward – rebuilding trust, faith in the other person and understanding that life does indeed move on are all necessary components to the act of apologizing.

1) Say It Like You Mean It

Don’t half-ass your apology or draw it out to be this ridiculous soliloquy that comes back full circle to reflect on how awesome you are. Say you’re sorry and why and mean it. Don’t worry about finding the right words – simple and short ones are enough here.

2) Understand What You Did

This is the part of the apology process that is the least pleasant to deal with: reviewing the stupid stuff that you said or did that got you here in the first place. It’s a little easier to manage if you’re fighting with your roommate over a lost utility check than if you’re fighting with somebody you met online who has never met you in real life. Online fights mix signals much more than arguments between people you know and interact with on a daily basis. Understand what you did wrong, acknowledge it and try to explain why you reacted just how you did. Fair warning: it’s going to be hard all around.

3) Let Some Time Pass

The longest argument I was ever in was in high school where I had a fight with my friends and we didn’t talk for 13 months. 13 months! We finally made up through a series of handwritten notes in English class, but holy hell, was it ever a miserable time in my life.

Once you apologize, you have to let time pass. You have to. It’s not easy, either – especially if you’re like me and don’t like to get into fights often. But it’s necessary for closing wounds and also to avoid making rash decisions brought on by making up too soon (which can sometimes accidentally lead into a second fight before you even know it). I try hard not to blog during these times. It’s really easy to get the internet to feel sorry for you and rail against the other person, but ugh, what a mess. Looking at that blog post six months later, you’re going to see a very different version of you staring back and I guarantee you it’s going to make you feel gross. Hang in there – hopefully your argument resolves itself sooner than in 13 months’ time.

4) Forgive Yourself

Misery loves company, but pity parties for one get out of control fast. Spend one evening crying in your bedroom and watching P.S. I Love You and let that be it. I don’t want to sound cold here, but life will continue moving on with or without you. You can’t put a pause button on everything just because you got into an argument on Facebook. The apologies have been made, the forgiveness has been asked for, the sobbing to the besties and getting their advice has been done and time will heal everything else. Don’t hate yourself forever about what happened – forgive yourself and don’t carry a grudge.

5) Acknowledge Things Will Be Alright in the End

I like clean slates, but I also know that they don’t always happen. So I take comfort in something that Elizabeth Taylor used to say: “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together.”

Everything happens for a reason, as horribly cliché as it may sound, but everything will continue to keep happening too. You can’t lie in bed and fantasize about what things would be like if you had done it differently because your bed will not magically grant you some remote control to turn back time with. You just gotta keep moving. With time, hopefully you can help rebuild a broken piece of trust, too. None of it will be easy and all of it will be difficult, but life is short. It’s so damn short. If you feel quite strongly about the bond you have with another person, any person, who makes even the smallest smidge of life seem nicer to deal with, don’t give up on them – not now, not ever. Work it out and work on it together.

Stranded

I was traumatized during typhoon Ondoy. But then last Monday, parang naulit sya. The thing is walang bagyo but low pressure area but it was double the effect of Ondoy cause most of the provinces and places in the Philippines are very much affected. I left the office 5:30am Monday morning cause the news flashed that they'll about to close NLEX due to flood. Naisip kong humabol pero it was a disaster. Been stucked for almost two hours and ang lakas pa ng ulan. Binalik lang kami sa terminal. So I don't have choice but to think of a place where I can stay. I don't want to go back sa office cause I know it'll be crowded. I texted my friend Jan and luckily she was at home. I went to her place at Pasong Tamo and super flooded na din yung area. So no choice but lumusong sa baha. I stayed sa place nila for two days. Good thing, she lend me extra clothes and other stuff. Last time na nag-Ondoy I was at the same place. I got back in Bulacan yesterday, pretty tired and exhausted. First thing na ginawa ko pagadating sa bahay, kumain ng madami cause I've been craving a lot for the past two days and matulog. I was able to get 9 hours of good sleep. It's good to fe. el at home. You are comforted and relaxed. Last night I did not report to work cause I am not feeling well. I've got so many realizations. I am still fortunate that I have my family with me, a shelter and food to eat. Whenever I watched the news, it always made me cry. The kids are suffering. A lot of families are starving for food and a place to live. I'm thinking deeply on how to help them. And then I pray. I know it is the best weapon anyone can do. I pray that the rain and flood will stop. I was amazed with my friend Jan. When I stayed at her place, I discovered God's power to transform her to a better person. She was different from the last time I saw her. She had this faith on God that you can't measure. I was asking myself then ako kaya kelan? I have so much faith in God but there's a time I still choose the wrong path. Pe pro si Jan, iba na. She never stop praying. She's not selfish. She knows where to stand and let you experience in small ways. I want to be like her. I know it takes a lot of courage and I am proud of her. The calamities, typhoons and flood na nararanasan natin is God's way to test our faith, on how long we can hold to him. If we will easily give up or we will continue praising him. I thanked God for everything. For the life, my family and all the good things happening to me.

Ella! Ella! Eh!

Grabe, its been raining for the past two weeks and going to work is really hard. Well, knowing that I live in Bulacan which is two hours away from Manila is really a sacrifice. I need to leave the house an hour earlier just to get in time to work. This rainy weather is draining my pocket. One of the things I really hate is getting my feet wet. Ayoko ng nababasa ang paa ko especially pag naglalaked. Hindi yun maiiwasan kasi tag-ulan pero it's making me feel irritated. Struggle pa naman sumakay papunta sa work. I am working in Ortigas particularly at Rockwell Business Center near Meralco. Pag normal days mahirap ng sumakay dun what more pa pag tag-ulan. So to avoid that, I always ride a taxi. Inaabot ng P100-P120 ang binabayaran ko. Just imagine katumbas na yung P100 ng isang McDo breakfast meal. Ang dating P200 budget ko for a day ngayon umaabot na ng P250, worst pa pag naging P300 due to other miscellanous fees. That's why I am having a hard time saving money nowadays. I know it's within my control pero mas gusto ko ng dumating sa work ng safe kesa yung basang-basa ako. It seems like I'm riding taxi everyday. I just hope the rain will stop. I know masarap ang ganitong weather especially pag matutulog ka na. You'll enjoy the weather pag wala kang work and sa bahay ka lang. Pero if you need to go to the office, super hassle sya. You always need to bring your umbrella with you. Naka-ilang payong na ko na parating nasisira at bumabaligtad. Pero wala tayong magagawa, let's just treat it as a blessing. :)

Tired!

I don't wanna complain being tired and so busy but lately, ganyan ang buhay ko, So many reports, paperworks, coaching logs and meetings na dapat tapusin. One day is not even enough. Sometimes I can't help but complain. After all, hindi naman ako ganito dati. There are times pati pag take ng lunch wala na kong oras. I am very conscious now cause I'm really practicing being health conscious cause I want to gain weight pero parang baligtad ang nangyayari. I'm beginning to lose weight. I still don't know how to get the concept of "balance". Ang hirap when there's a lot of things that you need to do. Sometimes I wonder I want to go back with my normal work routine. The times where I have my own freedom and have more time to rest and do other stuff. I feel like I am locked up now. My everyday work is giving me a lot of stress, Yeah, double the stress. Let's say I'm still on the adjustment period but I am feeling already the real world of being a supervisor. I am really wishing that I can manage everything properly. :)

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

I don't know why some people hate the Kardashian family. I find them awesome. I don't really know much about their personal life before till I watch their family series. At some point, yeah, you'll get irritated with some of the scenes but later on you will realize that they're just a normal family. They fight, yell and shout  but at the end of the day they still ask forgiveness and hug each other. Real families are always like that. The only difference is they're popular and they have a unique lifestyle. Ang kulit lang kasi each of the siblings of the Kardashian family may kanya-kanyang trademark. Si Kim always the organized type. Si Kourtney naman medyo makulit pagdating sa pag-ibig. She fell in love with the same guy na kahit sinaktan na sya yun pa rin ang pinili nya. Well, it's a happy ending na naman para sa kanya now cause she got two kids from Scott. Si Khloe which I guess is the most mature when it comes to responsibility. I adore Rob cause he looks so simple and quiet-reserved and of course the ever-gorgeous Kendall and Kylie. Syempre Kris and Bruce completes the family. I love their tv series because it really shows what a family looks like. They're not perfect but they love and cover up for each other. They may have flaws but they don't care. Growing up with the Kardashian family is like training yourself from a battlefield. Kasi naman they're always the center of attention. They did not bragged for it. I guess merely it comes naturally because they're Kardashians. Paparazzi loves them so much. I know it may sound weird pero what if I was given the chance to be part of their family for a week, kaya ko kaya? Well, I'd be honored. :)

My New Comfort Food

Gummy bears is so last last year. My new comfort food now is cheesy garlic bread. I tried yesterday the one from Pizza Hut and it tastes amazing. I am having this real craving now because of my mood. I don't know. I need this badly.

Conflict

My Dad and I is not in good terms now. We had this bit of a conflict. I hate to say but this has something to do financially. Alam ko may common misconception tayong mga Pilipino. We are too generous to help other people without thinking if tayo naman mangailangan if may tutulong ba sa atin? We had this sort of misunderstanding kasi i was making him realize na okay lang tumulong sa iba pero make sure pag kami naman ang nagipit sana may tumulong din. I've been struggling to save pero walang nangyayari. The money in my bank account seems to be getting nowhere and reality speaking din is paano ako sisipagin mag-work kung hindi mo pa natatanggap yung sweldo mo ubos na sya kakaisip mo because of the bills and a lot of miscellanous fees. I am not trying to be unfair to him. I am just being reasonable. And it seems he's been relaxed about this issue ever since. I don't want to blame them because they're my responbility pero ang hinihiling ko lang is if we are going to spend some money sana on something worth it. Hindi naman masama tumulong, wag lang sobra. We learned our lesson before in the hard way and ayoko ng maulit yun that is why nagiging ganito ako ngayon. And I really hate to admit ayoko sa lahat is having arguments and the reason is money. Napaka-petty ng reason pero importante sya. I just hope we can solve this matter. I am really disappointed now. Kailangan ko lang magpalipas. :(