Pressure Cooker!

Last Monday, things are going terrible that I even want to press the log off button of my Avaya. That was my first day being in the Pilot team. I panicked and crammed thinking how can I be able to control my cancellation calls to save my stats. The pressure is on. I was focused and very attentive to each of my calls. I tried to be competitive since most of my teammates are considered to be veterans in this field and already know the strategies and good attempts to make in each call. I was sleepy but made a way to keep my mind awake the whole shift. Thanks to Skittles and Twix, my comfort food while taking calls. I also realized that I miss my previous teammates especially Toretz, Des and Ellamo. We used to have funny conversations every shift and now my mood switched to serious mode since I am expected to perform well. Luckily, at the end of the day I passed the target. Hopefully, the same thing will happen next week.

Why Men Love Bitches?

I borrowed a book from my friend entitled "Why Men Love Bitches?". I am intrigued because of the good feed backs I heard from those who already read it. It was consists of 264 pages and I was able to finish reading it for two days. Yeah, I need to rush cause there's another friend next in line. The author of this bestseller book is Sherry Argov. While reading it, I learned so much about love, getting in a relationship and of course being a strong woman. The term "bitch" in this book is opposite of its original meaning. It is not about a creepy, gothic girl who dwells a lot in negative and wrong doings and is like the villain in a movie. The word "bitch" is define in this book as someone who have total control of herself, very independent, knows how to use her mind before her heart and of course someone who will not let others turn her down especially in a crucial situation. They say when a woman meets a man she already fall for him. In this book, it reverses the idea that it should be the guy who needs to do the chase. You're role as a woman is to let the fire on and make the man feel interested to you until he is caught up in the situation. The book also defines the difference between a "nice girl" to a "bitch". The nice girl will do everything to get the attention of the person she loves leaving nothing to herself so at the end when she did not get the satisfaction she is dreaming for she tends to lose her mind and the appetite to continue living a normal life. It will take years for her to recover and heal the wounds. So as to a bitch she manages to stand on her own and makes sure she is not totally attach to the man he loves. She still have her life and continue doing her interests while leaving the man of her life the thought of being independent. As the book says, guys love challenges. They hate it when the girl always do the talking and cannot decide on their own. The bitch here always believe in her own opinion. There were also a lot of guides when it comes to dating, getting in a relationship and choosing the guy you want to be with forever. It seems like the author of the book had wide experiences when it comes to love and being in a relationship for she was able to present good points and ideas very well. I admire her sincerity and for opening the fact that girls is not just a person designed to stay at home and do all the chores for the perfect girl also have a life and knows how to enjoy even she is already committed.

When I read the book, I concluded that I was the "nice girl". I belonged to the category of those who will do stupid things to get the attention of the guy she likes. I admit, I did that before and it did not work. And I learned from that experience. The chasing and the wrong moves definitely is not a good idea. I sucked when it comes to this matter. But now, I don't want to be the nice girl anymore. Yeah, being nice is still needed but it depends in a situation. I'm trying to be the bitch not because I read it in the book but because I have to. I need to get a hold of myself having total control of it. In the past, I let others control and dictate realizing I am like their puppet. Guys will always be guys. So I have to learn how to adapt to them in a manly manner using my confidence and being myself. The more I try to be myself, the more they will accept me. I made a lot of mistakes before and this is the perfect time to change and straighten things out so by the time the next guy will come I am more prepare and cool about it. I am not yet a bitch now by heart but soon to be one.

Need and Want

I need this job more than I want it. That was the first thing in my mind right now. Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody. Most of my closest friends at work are leaving the company due to variety of reasons. I can't force them to stay. I just need to respect them and be happy with their decision. I am merely sad because of it but I can't beg them to stay when they aren't happy anymore. It is really hard but I need to cope up with it. We all have our own personal reason why we need to stay than go. In my case, I need this because of my family. I am the only one working. They are my responsibility. What my decision now will reflect what will be our life in the coming days. So I can't be just aggressive making a decision without thinking hard. It's not that I am scared of having regrets, I just can't sacrifice the life of my family. It is a big deal for me. They are my life. I know most of my friends are leaving now but it doesn't mean I can lose the communication with them. Friendship will still go on. After all, this binded us together for how many months now. Well, the time you spend with each other no longer matters cause what counts the most is that you are still there for them whatever instances it is. That's what friends are for. At work, I found real friends I can treasure for the rest of my life. We may have differences and flaws but we learned to accept each other and continuously enjoy the company. I love them as much as I love my work and family. But sometimes you need to choose which you think is right as of the moment, not maybe the best decision but be good for now. It doesn't end here. I still want changes in my life and sooner I'll settle everything. But as for now, I need to sacrifice. I hope my friends understand me. I wish nothing but the best luck for them.

Family Bonding: BINGO!

I am a very homebody person and so is my family. We don't usually go out unless we go to church, visit our relatives or do the groceries. Most of the time we spend our time watching tv, eating my Mom's special recipe or simply talking things about life. Now we have a new past time. That is playing Bingo. Weird as it may sound but we were influenced by my Mom. Every afternoon especially my rest day we used to play Bingo at our neighbor's place and it already served as our bonding moment. My father was also doing the same thing now and I admit we are all having fun. I kinda think that when things go wrong or if there is misunderstanding inside the house this past time brought us together and made us forget the bad conversation we had or the arguments. Funny but it's true. Sometimes you just have to find something that will put you all in the same ground despite of your differences. It is the small moments that really matters. You don't care about the place, the people you are with and what are you doing as long as you are with your loved one then everything is still going to be okay. Our Bingo moment as family will always be the best bonding I experienced lately and it is immeasurable.

PIT

I am scared. I thought this shift bid will excite me cause I can choose my own schedule after my effort to work on my stats for the last three months. When I saw the ranking, I was at #13 giving me chances to pick my own schedule and my supervisor. I was thinking of Sup Huff or Sup Demi. However, unexpected news came out. I was chosen to be part of the PIT Team. Well, the Pilot team. They were the group of people expected to perform everyday with good stats and always meeting the metrics. I performed good in the last three months so I should be proud of myself. But it freaked me out knowing I will be part of that team. The new teammates, the new supervisor, the rsr rate and the pressure. Double the pressure. I want a normal team. Once you belong in PIT, you're in the limelight. You need to contribute well. I know I can do it but with new teammates, I guess I am starting over again. And I need to go back from being independent, be a little selfish and work hard. I want to prove myself to them but at the same time I want to keep everything in low profile. I just hope I can make it next week. I am nervous. I am good when it comes to change and I am praying I can still perform the way I did before. I am also sad that most of my closest friends at work is now leaving to find a better position and company. I want to do the same thing but I think I am not yet ready. I need this job more than I want it because of my family. I'll do my best. I know it is all up to me. Please GOD give me enough strength. Well, goodluck!

Am I ugly?

an 11-year-old girl who poses for the camera, twirling her shoulders, smiling big, and pulling her long hair out of a pony tail.

While I am checking my yahoo mail, I saw this article about teenagers in the US posting their videos in Youtube asking opinions if they look ugly or not. I was bothered because at an early age they easily define the real meaning of insecurities. Based on my experience, when you reach the puberty stage it is really hard to cope up with it due to the pressure you will see and encounter with different people. This is the time when teenagers try to fit in within the social environment. When I was on that age, I'll be honest I also try fit in just to easily get accepted by others and have a lot of friends. But then I realized that doing that is not any good. I have my own insecurities then. I hate my hair that I always ask my Mom to bring me to a salon to get a hair treatment. I have this wavy, dry curly hair in high school and I envied my classmates that have straight shiny hair. But then after that I lived with it. I tend to accept that it doesn't make any difference cause personality counts the most. I am very skinny also that my weight do not correspond with my age. I was the second smallest and skinny person in my class. I do not look like anorexic but it runs within the family since some of my cousins have the same physical feature that time. I also have this monkey ear that whenever I tied my hair during PMT they used to teased and pinch my ear. I remembered one of my PE teacher also noticed that I have small feet. I am size 4 then and he mentioned I have a feet of a small child. I experienced all those things. I felt affected once or twice but then I got used to it. I learned how to accept myself especially my flaws. Imperfections did not stop me from doing and achieving my goals. I ranked the top ten, compete with a lot of essay writing contest and even a part of the YFC organization. You choose what you feel. If you feel unpretty then it will just ruin your mood but if you feel beautiful despite of your imperfections, it will create a positive vibe. Even the top Victoria Secret model have their own insecurities, what more ordinary people like us. It is how you carry criticisms.

I watched the movie Camp Rock starring Mitchie (Demi lovato) who lied about her identity. The main reason is she tried to fit in. She joined a music camp where most of her fellow talents came from a wealthy and popular family. She felt very bad about it so she she pretended that her Mom worked in a big company in the China to impressed and pleased everyone. She got the attention of the richest girl in class named Tess Tyler. She even tried to change the way she dress. She never realize that she is very talented and being envied by others because of her good voice. Her Mom is the cook of the camp. In the end, she got busted and faced hurtful consequences. But when she learned to accept herself, she even landed the part in the album of the Connect3 band and Shane (Joe Jonas) fell in love with her.

The videos posted in Youtube is very alarming as growing number of teens having problems on how to deal with their flaws. Some of the comments is really mean and others merely sympathize. It makes me feel sad watching these kids shared their personal insecurities.I can't believe that anyone of any age would want to take this seriously. I cannot blame them for they live in a world where top competition of being beautiful is always at stake. I just hope when they reach the right age they realize that more than anything in this world being beautiful is the second priority and being who you are is what important. Beauty can can be seen in a lot of different ways not just in physical and I hope some people will take it that way. Beauty fades but good personality will remain forever. I wish this kids would see the bigger picture that so what if you're ugly most important is you have a beautiful heart.

Unexpected

"Spotted: A walking along Meralco Ave. yesterday with E, the chinito guy look-a-like of Chris Tiu. A and E having a good talk while going to work. E seems to be comfortable and at ease talking to A. You've made your first impression A. We see the smile on your face. Very unexpected. Looks like A is having a good day and E is trying to be cool and friendly. Until the next moment with A and E. "

xoxo
Gossip Girl

Yesterday is truly unexpected. A day before that I prayed to God to help me feel inspired again and have that "kilig" feeling all over me. God is so good that He works in mysterious ways. After I went to Edsa Shrine yesterday, I decided to wait for a jeep going to work. A lot of jeep and buses passed by but did not bother about it. I still remained standing. All of a sudden, when I looked at the person in front of me it was E. He was the first one to greeted and approached me. I was surprised so I smiled back. He began talking to me and he even told me that on his way to work he had a bad encounter with five guys he did not recognize and hit him in the head. I was shocked so I asked if he was okay and he said he felt a bit dizzy and the back of his head is slightly aching. I consoled him. He looked tensed and a bit scared. Then we decided to walk instead of riding a jeep since there is a lot of passengers waiting too and it might consume our time. This was the very first time we talked. We used to see each other everyday at work but we never say hi nor talk. In this moment, we easily get along talking about our work, our experiences and some personal stuff. I realized he was a kind and cool guy. He looks very young too. He mentioned he just recently graduate. I was very calm that time. I just stared at him and sometimes we also laugh. Our first introduction turned out pretty well, something I never thought that would happen. I admit I felt butterflies in the stomach. Yeah, he is cute but he also have a pleasing personality. Few minutes we arrived at the office and he mentioned he will go to the clinic and asked the nurse to check his head. We ended the conversation good. The same night I haven't seen him in his station and even today. I am thinking the nurse asked him to rest and have some x-rays on his head. I was a bit worried. I just hope he is okay. I am hoping to see him this Saturday and when we meet I wish everything is still fine. I experienced the "kilig factor" again this day because of that moment. I just find him cute, that's it. God easily made a way. Thank you. I love this day. Good things really happen when you least expect it. Very true. :)