Purple Butterfly!

Last week nanghingi ako ng sign kay GOD regarding sa isang tao na gusto ko. Alam kong GOD knows whose best for me. Naisip ko ang isang "purple butterfly". Sabi ko kay GOD pag nakita ko yun before this week ends ibig sabihin tama na gawin ko nga ang nasa isip ko na sabihin na sa guy na toh everything that I really felt for him. One week lang talaga ang timeframe na hiningi ko. Kahapon which is Sunday nung nasa bus na ko pauwi ng Bulacan medyo naramdaman ko na parang wala ng pag-asa kasi last day na at wala pa ding sign na dumadating. Sabi ko okey lang ganun talaga. Pagdating ko ng bahay namin sa Bulacan natulog na agad ako. Little that I know na yung sign na hinihingi ko sa panaginip ko pala magpapakita. In my dream, I was standing in front of a window, tapos may purple butterfly na dumapo sa shoulder ko. After nun naalimpungatan ako. Nagising ako na medyo hindi makapaniwala kasi GOD gave me the sign na hiningi ko. Ibig sabihin lang nun na yung sa gagawin ko may blessing na from GOD so there's nothing to be afraid of. Ang problema ko lang hindi ko alam kung paano gagawin. Siguro by letter. Ayoko naman sa text kasi napaka-informal naman nun. Basta masaya ako na nakuha ko yung sign na hinahanap ko. Sana maging okay naman ang lahat after nung decision na gagawin ko. Please guide me GOD. Thank you. :)

Isa Kang Malaking Tanong!

Bakit kaya ganun pag sobrang excited ka sa isang bagay na ni-look forward mo na mangyayari for a certain day bigla nalang mauudlot, maca-cancel, hindi matutuloy . Yung tipong pinaghandaan mo yung araw na yun tapos mauuwi lang sa wala. Sadyang umasa lang kaya ako? Pwedeng oo. Yan ang problema eh. Parati nalang umaasa. Wala naman atang kakahinatnan. Anu kaya tamang gawin ko dun? Ang umasa kasi sa tao na yun isa sa mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa akin. Mahirap bang ilagay sa isip ko na wag nalang ganun kasi lugi din ako sa huli pero hindi ko maturuan yung utak ko. Parte na talaga sya ng sistema ko. Nagiging unfair na nga ako sa sarili ko. Pwede namang hayaan ko nalang. In short dedma. Pero hindi ko naman kayang gawin. Ewan. Kasi naman sa nga times na akala ko wala kang pakialam sa akin bigla ka nalang magtetext at mangangamusta. Ako naman sa mga oras na hindi ka nagpaparamdam pinipilit kong i-divert yung sarili ko sa ibang bagay. Tapos nung nasa point na parang okay na ko tsaka ka ulit biglang susulpot at tatanungin kung kamusta na ko. Kamusta naman diba? Naiisip mo lang ba ko pag hindi na ko nagpaparamdam or kakulangan ba talaga ako sa buhay mo pag wala kang nabalitaan sa akin kahit na sa buong linggo o pwede ding naiisip mo lang ba kong kamustahin pag malungkot ka at wala ka ng makausap? Ang hirap kasi. Paki-define naman. Sabihin na nating baka namimis-interpret ko lang ang closeness natin pero panu naman yung nakikita kong effort sayo minsan na ginagawa mo which is for I now beyond the friendship na. Yes, we are friends. Pero why there are times we act like we are too much than that. Sorry kung ganun yung nafi-feel ko kasi ganun nakikita ko sayo. Kaya sana malaman ko agad kung anu ba talaga toh. Hindi naman ako takot sa maririnig ko. Yun lang malulungkot given na yun pero at least hindi naman yung tipong ganito nalang ako parati. Ayun. Ang kulit mo kasi eh. Cge na nga bahala na. Abangan nalang ang susunod na kabanata.

I Got My ChinaBank ATM!

Wow! A while ago our trainor announced that our atm are now ready for pick up at PS. We all got excited. Yehey! "Sahod" mode. This has been my second atm after I resigned from Sykes. I promised to myself that I'll be careful now in budgeting my salary so that I can have a lot of savings. The word "budgeting" until now seems to be a big jargon for me. Aha! I am not getting any younger now so I need to learn the value of saving for my future. Money-wise. That is why I made a deal for myself that every payday i need to make sure I have something left on my atm. Shopping galore, gimmicks and "inom" session mode should be least avoided. Hmmm...self-control! But I am really happy to have my atm today! Yahooo! Payday tomorrow and it'll be a blast!:)

Shagiddy-Shagiddy Shapopo!

Kanina para may icebreaker sa training namin since kaming lahat antok na naisip nung trainor namin maglaro ng "Shagiddy-Shagiddy Shapopo". Sa isip ko naman anu yun? Bago sa pandinig pero mukhang exciting naman. Tapos bumuo kami ng isang bilog. Eighteen kaming lahat. Nung na-explain na yung game, kailangan mo pala gayahin yung movements nung katabi mo. Ako naman ang tagal ko bago ma-gets. Ayun dahil sken nabe-break parati yung chain. Eh ako pa naman mahina talaga ako sa instructions at mga directions. Numero-unong weakness ko kaya un. Mga tatlong trials siguro bago ko nakuha. Ang kulit kasi ng mga steps ng katabi ko. Ang hirap gayahin. Dahil dun isa ako sa mga naging rule-breakers kaya may punishment tuloy ako. Yung mga batchmates ko naman sa sobrang excited naisipan nalang na truth or consequence yung gawin. Ang naisip ko talaga consequence kaso natakot ako baka kung ano yung ipagawa. Ang nauna sa akin si RJ nagtruth ba naman so ang tanong sa kanya sino daw ang crush nya sa klase namin eh malay ko ba na ako ang sasagot nya. Astig! Ang mean ko nga kasi dedma lang talaga ako. Nung ako na nagtruth nalang din ako. Ang tinanung sa akin if may pag-asa daw ba si RJ? Honest naman ako so sinabi kong wala. Grabe naman kasi parang highschool lang. Anu kami teenyboppers?? Ahahahaa..syempre solid "Chuck" toh. Tapos sumunod si Anna at Emma na kumanta. Medyo naawa ako kay Emma na isa sa mga batchmates ko kasi parati nalang sya pinagkakatuwaan ng klase. Kung ako man nasa kalagayan nya maiinis din ako or maiirita. Kaya hindi ko sya masisisi if ever ang "cold" ng treatment nya sa amin. Fault naman talaga namin. Sorry Emma! :( Sana wag na ulitin yung game na toh. Iba nalang. Parang bata lang di ba? Hai...

Skills Check Week! Arrgghh...

Grabe. Feeling ko nag-aaral ulit ako ngayon dahil sa ginagawa ko. Lumipat na nga pala ako ng bagong company and I am consider again as a "trainee". Syempre pag trainee ka more on classroom studies ang gagawin mo. Parang back to school lang. Ang swerte kasi puro air-conditioned ang mga rooms. Wow! Eight hours kayong nasa loob ng room, more on discussion kaharap ang isang flat screen na monitor. Take note, may kanya-kanya kaming computer compared before nung college hati-hati sa isang monitor. May attendance din. Bawal ma-late. May mga breaks at lunch time pa. At syempre, instead of professor, may trainor din kami. Sa halip na books, sa computer lahat naka-install ang mga information at lessons na dapat namin pag-aralan. High-tech na. Parang Yahoo at Google lang. Pwede din ang food sa loob pero syempre may exception. Sa two weeks ko ng nagte-training, panay fish crackers, flat tops at puto seko ang kutkutin ko. Panlaban sa antok. Nakakatuwa nga naman ang week na to kasi puro skills check kami. Define skills check. Eto yung exam every topic or discussion. Open notes naman kaso wala pa ding lusot kasi kahit alam mo na ang sagot kailangan mo pa din hanapin yung Doc ID para proof na nakita at nabasa mo yung tamang sagot. Sigurista di ba? Ang Doc ID ang reference number. May ganun pa? Syempre para iwas kopyahan at cheating. Ngayong week na toh naka-dalawang skills check na ko. Yung una 2 hours namin kinuha yung exam. Yung pangalawa 1 and a half hour. Mahirap yung mga questions. Ewan ko ba kung papasa ako dun. Sabi naman nung trainor may re-take daw so pwedeng umasa na din ako siguro dun. Pero syempre kahit paano pinagbutihan ko din hanapin yung mga sagot. Goodluck talaga sa akin. Nung college may time ka mag-review pero dito on-the-spot. Tapos most of the time inaantok pa ko so hindi ko talaga na-aabsorb yung ilang part ng discussion. Sa bagay kasalanan ko din. Ang dami naman kasing terms at ang complicated ng system nila. Pero pag nagtagal matututuhan ko din to. Sa umpisa lang talaga mahirap. Balita ko may skills check na naman kami next week. Haii..ang skills check pinasosyal na term para sa isang exam. Cool! Pero magiging cool nga din kaya kakalabasan ng score ko? Naku!

What's the label?

I don't know. I think I am acting too way paranoid right now. I just can't really explain why I felt too much concern for this guy in the past few months. Yeah, "months". Am I just attracted with this person, infatuated or I'm just beginning to like him? I never met a guy whose there for you anytime, my bestfriend is an exception to this situation. But this guy, he's totally different. He's always there for you, both of you enjoy the same interests, you love hanging around in weirdest places and talk anything till morning. His efforts are always counted. Whenever he smiles, gosh! I am falling head over heels for him! I was so happy that I am back again with this "kilig" feeling. That was like a long time when I felt it and now butterflies in the stomach are starting to kill me. Well, it is a wondrous feeling! How will you know if the guy likes you as well?? That is the big question. We maybe together all the time but I can't really predict whether there's something special going on or not or we are just really good friends. Can't we just be more than friends? Ahahaaha..just dreaming and hoping! And in this scenario, do I really need to put a label regarding what's going on or leave like it is? I remember the movie "500 Days of Summer". They ended up with no label in their relationship cause according to them what matters most is that they're enjoying each others company. Do it really have to stay like that? If so, wouldn't it be kinda unfair to the other party? Or the other should confessed? Arrgghhh! What's happening to me? In the end, I asked for God's sign because I believe he knows whose best for me. Purple butterfly please show up! That's the sign I'm waiting for. Yes, a butterfly. Above anything else, I'm still holding on to my FAITH.

My Best Birthday Celebration Ever!

A week before my birthday I already decided that I will celebrate it sa Precious Heritage Orphanage. At first, I thought it was really impossible to happen cause there are factors I need to consider like the funds, the people who will help me and the schedule itself. But I never lose hope. Sobrang miss ko na din yung mga kids dun. And the fact that I want my birthday to be special. Naisip ko kasi I was super blessed for my 23 years of living and I guess this was the best time for me to share it with others. I was fortunate na din kasi I have my family and friends whom I can lean on anytime. I really have a heart for kids talaga. Sobrang pag yun na pinag-usapan, I felt much concern for them. Before nga I joked around na gusto ko maging U.N. Ambassador. Wow! May mnga struggles din akong napagdaanan before ma-finalize yung plan ko of going sa Precious. Si tatay Brad hindi sya pwede that day kasi may interview sya, supposedly we will be using his car. Si Joenel, his phone was busted so he did not receive my text messages. Good thing, Aldrin was so willing to help me out with the plan. Last count of people to go, just me and Aldrin. Thanks much Aldrin! Grabe sya yung tipo ng taong maaasahan mo all the time. Hindi sya nagdalawang-isip na samahan ako. My Mom and Dad helped me with the groceries. We packed the loot bags filled with candies and chocolates.

It was 2pm when I met Aldrin at the Robinson's Galleria in Ortigas. Ang dami kong bitbit from Bulacan. Award talaga ko nun. Then we decided to buy like two boxes of Mister Donut. Parang merienda lang. Then we went na to Cubao to get a ride going to Precious. Funny that I'd even printed the map to get to Precious. Aldrin was good in directions, We easily get there. Too much sweat and our arms sore kasi ang bigat ng dala pero nung nakita ko na malapit na kami lahat yun nawala. Napalitan ng excitement.

Pagbukas ng door ng orphanage, sinalubong agad kami ng mga kids. They hugged and kissed us. A wonderful feeling. I totally missed them. Too bad I can't remember all their names so I need to asked them again. Basta ang saya! We started talking to each other ulit, loads of 'kwento" and we played jackstone and "patintero". I felt like I was a kid again. It was fun that we were divided into two teams, boys versus girls and in the end, we lose the game and the boys beckon! Super bonding with the kids. Aldrin played basketball with the boys and I did teach them a song, "Big Backyard". They were also happy to eat the donuts we brought and enjoyed the candies. One kid there asked us to stay in the orphanage for a day and sleep there. Gusto sana namin kaso we also realized na it'll be hard for them if they get too attached with us kasi we can't promise to be there all the time. I can promise na I can come back but I can't always give a date. Before we went home, that is the only time they realized it was my birthday. They sang the "Happy Birthday" song and the Precious Heritage Orphanage hymn. I almost cried. Sobrang overwhelming yung pakiramdam. Full-contentment and sincere happiness.

This has been one of the best birthday I ever had. Until now, whenever I recall this day it indeed made me smile. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na you're spending your special day with people who need you the most. Hindi ko man mabigay yung full commitment ko sa kanila but I can guarantee that I will always pray for them. I love you kids! You made Ate April's birthday so memorable!