Am I ugly?

an 11-year-old girl who poses for the camera, twirling her shoulders, smiling big, and pulling her long hair out of a pony tail.

While I am checking my yahoo mail, I saw this article about teenagers in the US posting their videos in Youtube asking opinions if they look ugly or not. I was bothered because at an early age they easily define the real meaning of insecurities. Based on my experience, when you reach the puberty stage it is really hard to cope up with it due to the pressure you will see and encounter with different people. This is the time when teenagers try to fit in within the social environment. When I was on that age, I'll be honest I also try fit in just to easily get accepted by others and have a lot of friends. But then I realized that doing that is not any good. I have my own insecurities then. I hate my hair that I always ask my Mom to bring me to a salon to get a hair treatment. I have this wavy, dry curly hair in high school and I envied my classmates that have straight shiny hair. But then after that I lived with it. I tend to accept that it doesn't make any difference cause personality counts the most. I am very skinny also that my weight do not correspond with my age. I was the second smallest and skinny person in my class. I do not look like anorexic but it runs within the family since some of my cousins have the same physical feature that time. I also have this monkey ear that whenever I tied my hair during PMT they used to teased and pinch my ear. I remembered one of my PE teacher also noticed that I have small feet. I am size 4 then and he mentioned I have a feet of a small child. I experienced all those things. I felt affected once or twice but then I got used to it. I learned how to accept myself especially my flaws. Imperfections did not stop me from doing and achieving my goals. I ranked the top ten, compete with a lot of essay writing contest and even a part of the YFC organization. You choose what you feel. If you feel unpretty then it will just ruin your mood but if you feel beautiful despite of your imperfections, it will create a positive vibe. Even the top Victoria Secret model have their own insecurities, what more ordinary people like us. It is how you carry criticisms.

I watched the movie Camp Rock starring Mitchie (Demi lovato) who lied about her identity. The main reason is she tried to fit in. She joined a music camp where most of her fellow talents came from a wealthy and popular family. She felt very bad about it so she she pretended that her Mom worked in a big company in the China to impressed and pleased everyone. She got the attention of the richest girl in class named Tess Tyler. She even tried to change the way she dress. She never realize that she is very talented and being envied by others because of her good voice. Her Mom is the cook of the camp. In the end, she got busted and faced hurtful consequences. But when she learned to accept herself, she even landed the part in the album of the Connect3 band and Shane (Joe Jonas) fell in love with her.

The videos posted in Youtube is very alarming as growing number of teens having problems on how to deal with their flaws. Some of the comments is really mean and others merely sympathize. It makes me feel sad watching these kids shared their personal insecurities.I can't believe that anyone of any age would want to take this seriously. I cannot blame them for they live in a world where top competition of being beautiful is always at stake. I just hope when they reach the right age they realize that more than anything in this world being beautiful is the second priority and being who you are is what important. Beauty can can be seen in a lot of different ways not just in physical and I hope some people will take it that way. Beauty fades but good personality will remain forever. I wish this kids would see the bigger picture that so what if you're ugly most important is you have a beautiful heart.

Unexpected

"Spotted: A walking along Meralco Ave. yesterday with E, the chinito guy look-a-like of Chris Tiu. A and E having a good talk while going to work. E seems to be comfortable and at ease talking to A. You've made your first impression A. We see the smile on your face. Very unexpected. Looks like A is having a good day and E is trying to be cool and friendly. Until the next moment with A and E. "

xoxo
Gossip Girl

Yesterday is truly unexpected. A day before that I prayed to God to help me feel inspired again and have that "kilig" feeling all over me. God is so good that He works in mysterious ways. After I went to Edsa Shrine yesterday, I decided to wait for a jeep going to work. A lot of jeep and buses passed by but did not bother about it. I still remained standing. All of a sudden, when I looked at the person in front of me it was E. He was the first one to greeted and approached me. I was surprised so I smiled back. He began talking to me and he even told me that on his way to work he had a bad encounter with five guys he did not recognize and hit him in the head. I was shocked so I asked if he was okay and he said he felt a bit dizzy and the back of his head is slightly aching. I consoled him. He looked tensed and a bit scared. Then we decided to walk instead of riding a jeep since there is a lot of passengers waiting too and it might consume our time. This was the very first time we talked. We used to see each other everyday at work but we never say hi nor talk. In this moment, we easily get along talking about our work, our experiences and some personal stuff. I realized he was a kind and cool guy. He looks very young too. He mentioned he just recently graduate. I was very calm that time. I just stared at him and sometimes we also laugh. Our first introduction turned out pretty well, something I never thought that would happen. I admit I felt butterflies in the stomach. Yeah, he is cute but he also have a pleasing personality. Few minutes we arrived at the office and he mentioned he will go to the clinic and asked the nurse to check his head. We ended the conversation good. The same night I haven't seen him in his station and even today. I am thinking the nurse asked him to rest and have some x-rays on his head. I was a bit worried. I just hope he is okay. I am hoping to see him this Saturday and when we meet I wish everything is still fine. I experienced the "kilig factor" again this day because of that moment. I just find him cute, that's it. God easily made a way. Thank you. I love this day. Good things really happen when you least expect it. Very true. :)

My New Crush: Damian McGinty

I have a new crush now. Ever since I watched the Glee Project this Irish guy caught my attention real time. I watched the Glee Project from the beginning till the end because of him and even followed his Twitter account. He is a humble, cute and charming guy from Ireland. His name is Damian McGinty. During Glee Project, I prayed a lot of times that he'll get the slot. He won together with Samuel Larsen and was given 7 episodes in the new season of Glee which he played as Rory Flannigan an exchange student from Ireland. His role fitted him. He has dreamy eyes and good smile. I want to meet him in person but I know it is impossible. Just a tweet from him will brighten my day. How I wish!

Oh Pretty Boys from Pretty Little Liars!

I don't regularly watch Season 2 of Pretty Little Liars but I was able to finish the entire episode of Season 1. It is about a big mystery regarding the death of Allison and the friendship of Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily. The series is a bit of suspense with romance and mixed tragedy. But what caught my attention are the gorgeous leading men of the series. Here are some of them:

Ezra Fitz (professor and Aria's boyfriend)

Caleb Rivers ( Hanna's boyfriend)

Toby Cavanaugh ("Black Cat" of Rosewood and Spencer's boyfriend)

Mike Montgomery (Aria's brother)

Alex Santiago (related to Spencer Hastings)

Jason DiLaurentis (brother of Alison DiLaurentis)

Noel Kahn (Season 2 newcomer)

Holden Strauss (Aria's friend)

Wren Kim (boyfriend of Spencer's sister)

Everyone loves 'Pretty Little Liars" because of these awesome guys. The show maybe filled with secrets about each character but who will not spend time knowing this guys. Definitely worth-watching. Indeed, guys are really everywhere in 'Pretty Little Liars".

My 25 Years of Spending Valentine's Day

I am 25 years old and this is the 25th year I'll be celebrating Valentine's day. I should be disregarding my childhood days but it's okay it still comprises who I am right now. I really do not have the thought of blogging this special occasion because honestly this is just an ordinary day for me. Yeah, maybe sounding a bit bitter cause no one made it extraordinary but for now I am contented with the love and care I am receiving from my family and friends. Yesterday, roses are everywhere and you can see lovers holding hands together while I am in my bed having a good sleep. Funny though but that is how I spent my Valentine's Day yesterday. Few people greeted me and greeted them back as well. I ate Goldilocks macaroons and stayed in my brother's room while surfing the net. Last week I have plans of going out with my brother but because of the gloomy weather that made me feel lazy I decided to stay home and locked myself out. A lot of people look forward for this day for this is the perfect time to make an effort to show to your loved one what they means to you. I agree to that. But Valentine's Day is not just for couple. Maybe 75% of it are designated for couples and the rest are for the single ladies, busy parents and playful children. I already received a rose and bunch of Valentine cards from a lot of friends and I still kept it in my closet. But this isn't the only day to spread real love, it should be done everyday whether you're married, in a relationship or single. Well, status don't really counts at all for this day. The only advantage of Valentine's Day is that so may special moments happened. I love Valentine's Day not because the color red represent it but the fact that despite of the struggles and bad things around us love still conquers it all especially the hatred. I love the idea of Cupid. I love heart-shaped chocolates and different Valentine version of Hallmark greeting cards. I love to hear love songs. It fascinates me that there were also good romantic movies made for Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter how I spend my 25 years of celebrating Valentine's Day, what important is I feel loved in every single way and I am happy because of it. Love..Love..Love..for it makes the world go round! :)

The Vow

Last Friday, Toretz and I decided to watch "The Vow" starring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. I have seen the trailer online and it really caught my attention. We were just in time before the movie started. It was a romantic and inspiring movie about true love. At first you will think like the story is impossible but it did happen in real life. It started from an unexpected incident of two person falling in love just in the right time. They met at the airport and that were everything started. The characters were named as Leo and Paige. The girl came from a wealthy well-educated family and the guy is a simple and loving person with good sense of humor. Leo had his own recording studio while Paige is an artist. They adore each other very much that during their wedding they made their own vows. Of course, at the end of each vows, they promised to love each other for the rest of their life. I cried a lot of times watching this. And what surprised me is that beside me is an old lady alone watching the movie. I felt weird about this then I realized Grandma still believe in love stories. She did cry too. Very touching. The movie is about a car accident that put Paige in a coma and when she wakes up she suffered from severe memory loss and what's heartbreaking is she can't remember Leo, her husband. Too much effort was done by Leo to win back again Paige to the point that he almost give up and set her free. But no matter how Paige try to control her feeling, the heart will still lead you back to your love. The mind might not remember everything but the heart never forgets. The story ended with Paige meeting Leo after a long time and starting over again. They're love remained stronger and ended up having kids. Well, it is a movie worth-watching that I can add to my lists of favorites. Two thumbs up for Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. They both look good as a couple onscreen. Channing Tatum is so gorgeous that I can't resists but feels so "kilig" while Rachel McAdams is a good actress. I will also never forget one of Leo's line there, "Can I give you at least an awkward hug?". Sweet. In this movie love is not just about how you recall wonderful memories with your loved ones. It is about living every moment with them like it is a once in a lifetime experience. I simply love the movie and I fell in love with it. :)

Mr. Prom

It was year 2002 when I had my Prom in high school. I am not really a fan of parties, gowns and heels up to now. It's been ten years already. But my Prom is really memorable for one reason. Because of this unexpected dance from a guy. Well, should I say a good-looking guy from my batch? I really don't have any plans of attending my prom before. I've been looking for something to wear for a week already and can't find one. It was a day before the prom I was able to borrow one. A blue beaded backless gown and my make-up courtesy by one of my gay friend. Honestly, I'm not proud of how I look that time cause I never really prepare for it. However it is mandatory so I had nothing to do but to dragged myself there. It was a plus factor that I was also one those people who made the class prophecy which never been published because of the disorganized theme. During my prom, almost everyone dressed in their best suit and gown while I was hiding myself away from the crowd. I remembered on the class prophecy I ended up as a novelist. Too bad it never happen in reality. When we say prom, dancing will always be part of it. When the hosts gave the signal that everyone can dance on their own or with their partners, I just watched them. Yeah, some of my classmates and friends asked me to dance with them. Only four people from different section asked me to dance with them. They were Tophe, Jason, my cousin Bryan and the unexpected guy. It happened when everyone was busy dancing with their partners and I was the only one left in the table. I was already conscious that time because I really want to go home. Then after Tophe danced with me this guy approached me and lend his hand asking if he can dance me. I was not looking at his face when I heard him and I thought he was one of my classmates. Then when I looked up I saw this guy. I was really shocked. I didn't say "no". When we dance, the music that was played was a bit fast then after a few minutes it was switched to a romantic one. We never talked. I just stared at him thinking how lucky I am to be given the opportunity to have a dance with him. A lot of girls that night are dreaming that they can have even little time to talk to him. And it was me who unexpectedly got the chance most of them are wishing for. I am lucky that time I guess. After that dance, everything changed about me. I used to see this guy around the campus most of the time but never feel anything for him until after that moment. But it was the end of my high school. Two weeks after that we are about to graduate. I was so busy with final exams and graduation practice. I used to see him during practice. From our classroom I used to stare at him during recess. In short, I had a crush on him since then. But it stayed that way after until we graduate. I made a funny move during graduation. I bought one of his graduation picture without him knowing it. Thanks to the help of a friend. I still got his picture in my photo album until now. Whenever I look at it, it made me smile. And today, after 10 years, I got the courage to say "hi" to him through Facebook. He replied back. Surprisingly, he asked me if I was one of those girls he was able to dance with during our high school prom. I don't know what to say so I said "no". I lied. I am that girl. And he was the reason why I was so happy during prom and why until now I can't still forget it. He mentioned I looked familiar and he told me he danced with me. I just told him maybe it was somebody else. I felt guilty. Days before we graduate, I decided to write a letter for him thanking him for that moment. I mailed that letter to his house. I got his address because I was one of the staff of our graduation yearbook. After 10 years, I was able to confirm that he indeed received my letter. I just wrote on the letter that he made my prom memorable and special because of that dance. I lied because this isn't the perfect timing. Based on our conversation, he already had his own family and had a beautiful daughter. We talked about his life and my work. It seems like we already known each other. He even mentioned he knew me that I was from the pilot section. He even told me how he wished he seriously studied high school before cause now he's trying to apply for work. I was happy today. I finally talked to him. This has been the thing I am looking forward before because I felt I'm still holding on this for too long. Our conversation ended without even saying goodbye. A big revelation. I hope we can talk again sometimes. I am smiling now going back to the times we held hands while dancing. And his name is Severino Lucero. :)

Tik Tok

Have we ever wonder why we always come to work at time, get along with our hectic schedules and meet our deadlines? A brief example is when you're looking for work and you have your first interview at 8am. You always sleep late at night but you don't worry cause all you need to is set the alarm to 6am so you can wake up early and get more time to prepare yourself before the dreaded interview. Most importantly you also think that if you get up late you might encounter the hell traffic in Edsa and you'll rush and when it happens you might lose your temper and proper mindsetting for the answers to the questions that the interviewer might throw to you. At the end of the day, you never get the job you're pining for and you need to look for another one and same routine goes after that. A big hassle. But thanks toBenjamin Banneker for inventing this wonderful instrument that makes our life easier and convenient. I am referring to the "clock" an instrument used to indicate time which derived from the Celtic words clagan and clocca meaning "bell". Honestly, if there were three things I need to have with whenever I go is the clock, my handkerchief and my polka-dot pouch. They're may savior whenever I go. I am a very punctual person. I hate being late and I always try to meet my deadlines at work. Without the clock I don't know how can we manage the daily activities that was given to us. A lot of people try to abuse time by spending it to useless things while some people are begging to have more time to spend in the world. Clocks are everywhere. There's one in the house, in our office and school. There's even one tied to our wrist for us to keep track of time. There's also smaller, bigger and colorful ones. They come in varieties of sizes and designs. An alarm clock is a one big help for someone like me. I used to sleep 12 in the afternoon and I should be up 5pm cause I need to prepare for work. Before I sleep I set my alarm so that I can be able to make it in time for work and other activities. Once my alarm goes on, that's already a sign for me to get and freshen up. The clock was invented for us to cope up with our life in a timely manner. It helps us to do things in a meaningful way. I have like 10 pairs of it in my closet and I wear it all the time. Clocks and watches they're just the same thing with the same purpose to remind us that time is valuable and in its every tick tock there's a corresponding action that needs to be done properly. Clocks are like our shadow. It is there wherever we go informing us that each second is worth every living. So everytime we hear Tik Tok, that is already an advise that we are humans and we were expected to do things in time. Life is too short to be wasted so let us make the most out of it. Like what they say, "time is gold". And I agree to this. We need to set plan for our life and activities, so that we can live more organized. While there are always drawbacks to being too conscious of time, it is essential that we have this marker to use while we work, play, and grow older.

Pasaporte

Last month, I decided to get a passport at DFA with Toretz since there's so much talk and plans of going abroad. We were discussing to go to Hong Kong, Korea and Singapore. Yeah, most of the decision was simply to travel and the other is to look for work. I'm being more realistic now since I never thought of going out of country before. It is a good thing I never had difficulty in passing my requirements cause after two weeks my passport was delivered directly to my home. No effort needed to pick it up at the DFA. Thanks for e-passport for making our life easier now. I was happy and excited when I received it. Then I also realized that when you have plans of traveling abroad you need to be physically, emotionally and financially prepared. And I am trying to learn that now. I even ask asked my brother to process his own passport cause I want him to be with me when I travel cause I want him also to experience what I had. Being fair plus the fact that I love him. I kinda like my picture on my passport even though I just got out of my shift then but still looks fine. I just hope whatever plans we have will come true this year. Our first destination is Hong Kong as agreed by. Can't wait to pack my things up and be Dora: The Explorer. Ahaha..